Recently at my church during praise and worship, the worship leader made a comment in between songs that really stuck to me. She said to the congregation, "Hey, if you're not up here shouting and dancing . . . it is because of your pride". My first reaction was just that, a reaction, and one based on defensiveness. I thought to myself, "Look, I'm just not that kind of guy. I don't dance unless you count rocking the heck out. It's not for me, that's not how I worship, and who are you to tell me otherwise? Just because I don't flow like that doesn't mean I'm not worshiping just as much as you".
I should tell you a little bit of how I praised God before that day, just so you don't skip reading this thinking I'm all fired up about getting ready to tell you that I learned to lift my hands that day. I wasn't one of those people you see who just stood there or sat there during praise and worship. I lifted my hands, and not in that fake way where people only raise their hands because it's a lyric or because other people lift their hands. I really did praise the God that I live for. I sang to Him, I felt His presence, He ministered to me every week. I looked forward to it before church.
It's important that I convey the fact that my whole Christian life I had been praising God in a way that seemed to me to be something that I got more out of than some people, because I meant it. But the real point is that I wasn't getting nearly as much out of it as God wanted for me, because I had decided everything was fine, and ergo put no thought into any other option. Anyway, God opened my eyes on the spot, and what I saw immediately melted my defensiveness. As I watched my inspiring worship leader, I saw that she was indeed more free in her worship than I, and I had to admit that it was impossible for me to be as free because on some level, I had always kept myself in check during worship. Keeping myself in check wasn't really a conscious effort, but it was true that I didn't praise God at church quite the same way I did at home or in the car, when it was just Him and me. At home I was certainly louder, because it didn't matter how well I could sing if no one heard it. At church, I could hear the person next to me and KNOW that they sounded great. I also KNEW that I didn't sound nearly as good. I didn't want to interrupt their beauty with my less than angelic voice.
These thoughts were the indisputable proof that I did indeed limit my praise to God, if for any reason, that I thought of them enough to change the focus from worship to my actions when it was supposed to be "God and me" time. So I took a chance. I stretched my arms toward the sky more than I ever had before. I said to God, "Alright man, free me from me! I don't want to hold anything back". And I meant it. I said it with hunger. And that is exactly why the change was allowed to take place and be so effective in freeing me to do what was from the beginning, the right and natural thing to do: Praise my God!
Love Him through honest and open, and very real communication. My spirit at once cried out in the freedom that came from holding back nothing, and from disregarding my fleshly concerns! The two (spirit and flesh) cannot exist on the same plane without one choking out the other. With my flesh now unimportant, my spirit was free to love God in this sacred time of
worship! I put everything into it, for it is what my spirit longs to do, >>>> and would easily do without a body born into sin. And I tell you the truth friend, I'm talking about a different grade of experience here. Red pill, blue pill stuff. What follows is, in part, the revelation that God gave me while I worshiped at home the very next week:To "let everything that has breath praise the lord forever" is the natural order of things. We see it as some type of commandment but really, it is a statement attesting to that natural order. It was written by a psalmist, who by nature describes things in an eloquent way, much like a poet. Sin; the fall of man, is what confused the natural flow in the first place, because of it's separation consequence. But we have God to un-confuse and re-connect us!! And He is discovered on a profound level in praising Him.
When you enter into communion through worship you see past the illusions; through the fog, because you're not looking through sinful eyes, through "natural" eyes, any longer. That false nature cannot exist in God's presence. Being in that special place allows one to break through the illusions and allows Him remove the thin veil that we are unnaturally accustomed to. It is in this place that we can most see Reality. Ultimate Reality, God's Reality. This is precisely why in praising God, you can get SUCH fantastic vision, direction, and that knowledge that nothing can stop you. Only the One True Living God could ever invoke such reaction from His own creation!
As long as we live in these sinful bodies we will have to fight for these Ultimate Reality viewpoints. As a friend of mine said, "It's not God who puts up the walls that we must break to enter that quiet place with Him. It's us" (thanks M). Get past the "fallen human" factors of pride and emotion driven choices. It would be a hopeless endeavor on our own, but being who He is, God makes this possible. Do what is indeed the truest natural order of things, being on the plane of existence that only the One True Living God could create and dwell in and take us to and wait for us to discover. He inhabits the praises of His people (Psalms 22:3) and He shares life-changing revelation with us. Being close to the Master Lover, we are engulfed in Love, again the natural order can only dictate revelation!! You say you want revelation in your life, a fresh word. Enter that place and meet God. He won't hold back. As a matter of fact, only you can hold Him back by not opening yourself up to get in that Holy place with your Creator.
If every Christian got this honest in their worship, no one would get caught up in that weak, Christian on Christian judgmental pride. Furthermore, the world wouldn't even judge it. People don't judge what is the set standard. We wouldn't even need to tell people about God in America!! The world would flock to the church and God's people, desperately wanting some of that joy. (That's pretty heavy, I better save that for next time, after you've awoken to the idea of revelation.)
So now I'm that guy in the front that's all crazy during worship. I used to be the guy that scoffed at the people in the front row getting all crazy. So if you see me and judge my motives, it's okay. We're just not looking through the same eyes. The curtains have been pulled back on mine. By the way, if I've required you to read this, it can mean only one thing; You're coming to church with me soon, and I don't need you to take your focus off of why you're really there. I don't need you getting caught up in wondering why I do what I do, that could interrupt your worship of God. And there isn't a good enough reason on Earth for that to happen.
P.S. That place with God is not about feeling dizzy and getting goosebumps, it's about being brought to a place of empowerment for the purpose of strength, focus, and going back out into the world more capable than before. But that's another topic entirely . . .
